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I cried more. And then I started thinking. I’d long said that should I ever find myself in such a situation that I would hasten to an abortion clinic ASAP. Ah, the clarity of one who has never been there… the not-quite innocent but still completely inexperienced, unaware, and unprepared. I knew adoption was out of the question- there was no way I could carry a baby for nine months, go through childbirth, and then give it away. Not that I thought that was ever an easy choice for anyone to make, but I knew myself and knew that that particular guilt would become a living hell for me. I thought about keeping it. I tried to make a list in my mind of the people who would be able to lend emotional support but finished it much more quickly than I expected. I knew his family would indefinitely withhold any kind of assistance to show the depth of their displeasure. I also knew he would never demand otherwise. Still, I worked up a picture of us, together and raising our child and giving a big. She stood up, steadied herself and made her way swiftly to the changing room. Once there, she stripped herself of her dress, stepping into the connecting bathroom. There she turned on the shower and stepped in, losing herself to the sensation of the water on her body. It was perfect, cool, and blissful. It cooled down her body, raised her nipples, and made her squeeze her eyes up in delight. She washed herself down slowly, enjoying the bubbles and the smell of the soap. She scrubbed away at the make-up, ran shampoo through her hair and stepped out, smelling like a summer dream. Pulling a towel round her, she reached for the door handle, and stopped. She heard someone in the room outside, someone was rooting through her things. Smash. Something had been dropped, or broken, she heard a man’s voice mumble ‘Damn.’ It was Ben, she would recognize that voice anywhere. She debated what to do. If she went in there, what would happen? Would she again get the chance to tell him how she felt?.
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